Chicken Fry

Jimmy Smith Andy Wang

Nate Diaz totally dismantled and “Out Worked” Emerson in their match. After out witting Emerson in the standup Diaz took Emerson down and ran a Jiu Jitsu clinic before getting the tap out from a rear naked choke.

BJ Penns’s team is down 0 and 3 and Jens Pulver is running out of good fighters will this be the week when BJ’s team finally gets a win? BJ thinks they still have a chance. BJ is right if one of his fighters can get his hands on Wayne Weems.

It seems Wayne has been doggin it in practice and Pulver is sick of it. “Weems is falling behind… I can’t spend all my time with one guy”.

Manvel thinks Wayne needs a lot of work especially in his grappling, striking and conditioning. Wait isn’t this guy 9-2 and lives right down the street from Team Miletechs camp? “I’m not here to wash their butts and put a diaper on them.” – Pulver

Looks like Wayne is the weak injured antelope and Gabe wants to pounce. Gabe talks to BJ and tells him he wants to take out Weens. “Somebody’s gotta do it!” – Ruediger

BJ and I think that’s funny but it seems Rob Emerson doesn’t. Emerson thinks its a “Cowards way out” and that Gabe is going behind the teams back by talking to BJ in private. Guess Emerson would have preferred to fight Weens too. Looks like Team Boredom is falling apart as quickly as it was formed. Damn no more Shield battles and horse Shenanigans.

Back to Team Pulver. It looks as though Team Pulver is not as perfect as their record. It seems another member has been doggin it during workouts; Brandon Melendez. Melendez hurt his foot in the first brutal work out that Pulver made the fighters do so that Penn couldn’t tell who was in shape.

“All you ever do is ride the aerodyne” – Pulver

Pulver rips into Melendez telling him he won’t let him fight if he isn’t training 100%. Melendez fires back with “I’m just babying it so I’m springy on my feet.” Pulver isn’t buying it. In the confession room Melendez tells us his foot hurts and that he knows his body…

Manny tells Pulver that he thinks Melendez is upset because he is struggling with his weight. Jens thinks he isn’t training as hard because of all the weight cutting. “If he ain’t within 5 at announcement time he ain’t fighting.” -Pulver

Melendez shows us how he cuts weight. The sauna is brutal “seconds feel like minutes” boy this guy complains a lot. Where is Dana and his “do you want to be an F#@%ing fighter” speech?

Back to the house for some comic relief… It seems Mr. Indestructible aka Marlon Sims loves to tell a tall story. He states that he has been in a couple hundred street fights and has never lost. Rickson Gracie is calling his lawyers. His tales are right out of a “Steven Segal” flick with guys coming out of nowhere and he takes them out one by one.

A 170lb guy can take on several dudes at a bar one at a time and never lose? Sounds phoney to me when barroom brawler Tank Abbott has admitted to getting his teeth kicked in a few times. Gabe and Noah think he is full of shit and Gabe calls public Shenanigans. Can you believe that word is in spell check.

BOOM Chicken Fry Stats.

Team Penn
Gray Maynard
Matt Wiman
Gabe Ruediger
Joe Lauzon
Rob Emerson – Eliminated by Nate Diaz
Andy Wang – Eliminated by Brandon Melendez
Noah Thomas – Eliminated by Manny Gamburyan
Allen Berube – Eliminated by Cole Miller

Team Pulver
Corey Hill
Nate Diaz 1-0
Brandon Melendez 1-0
Marlon Sims
Manny Gamburyan 1-0
Cole Miller 1-0
Brian Geraghty
Wayne Weems

Fight announcement.

Brandon Melendez vs Andy Wang

Here are just a few Andy Wang gems.

“Just like the fortune cookie say. Be careful of what you wish for.” – Andy Wang

“One life you gotta roll the dice” – Andy Wang

Gabe, BJ and Andy go over a game plan for Andys fight and we find out Andy isn’t much of a listener. Gabe talks about a fight where Andy wouldn’t listen to his corner and just brawled with the other guy. No word on if he won that fight. Andy is 5-6.

BJ point blanks asks Andy “If we tell you to take him down will you take him down?” Andy responds confidently “Don’t worry coach”.

Gabe says that Andy is fighting for the team and himself. Gabe thinks this should be a quick win for Andy because and is a Black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Gabe is licking his chops at an Andy win and a chance for him to take on the wounded antelope Weens.

Andy talks about fighting for the honor of his family and to show the sprit of the Asian community. While we are listing to his rant we see Wang practicing closing the distance and getting the takedown.

The Toyota Scion Weigh In.

BTW those Scions are great cars. Toyota wanna Sponser the site?

Pulver says he is stunned after Brandons weigh in. Brandon and Andy easily make weight.

Brandon pulls a Luke Cummo and eats everything in the house including my favorite; a hot pocket doused in Tapatio.

Back at Pulvers camp the fighters show up to find Matt Hughes is cleaning the mats. Maybe he spilled some of his country breakfast on them Brian Geraghty seems to be making some cameos with a few comments on Matt Hughes. Wait is this guy on the show?

Extreme Telephone Company asks “Is Marlon Sims full of it?” Enquiring minds want to know! 45% think no. I told you TUF n00bs don’t know shit!

2 guys piss on each other at the commercial break.

Pulver tells the team he brought Matt Hughes in to change things up. “They aren’t tired of looking at you but they are tired of listening to you.” –Hughes. Zing!

Man how great would it have been if Hughes and Penn were the coaches. We could have had more great quotes like this. “If I was a betting fan I would bet BJ Penn didn’t do much in his group.” Matt Hughes.

BTW where are BJ’s surprise guests? No Matt Lindland no Ralph Gracie?

“I don’t want to be remembered as a warrior that got an arrow in the back. I’m here to get my respect on the battlefield.” – Andy Wang

Tale of the taped doesn’t look good once again for team Penn. Melendez has 2 inches of height and 9 inches in reach on Wang… Oh yeah and about 10lbs in weight but don’t worry size doesn’t matter in Jiu Jitsu.

Fight

Early in round 1 Wang gets hit with a left that knocks him down. Wang seems stunned but not hurt and continues to come straight towards his opponent. Melendez circles to his right and begins landing at his right at will. Wang counters with a looping overhand right but it’s off target. The men continue this dance with Wang taking multiple rights to his face and never once going for a takedown. BJ can be heard screaming for the shot the whole time. Wang is definitely not following the game plan.

In there corners our fearless competitors get their usual pep talks.

“All day” – Pulver.

“Lets take him down.” – BJ

Nothing really changes in the second. Andy gracefully blocks a few more rights and a left with his face before he finally gets the clinch. After a skirmish Andy even gets a knock down but just backs off. BJ can still be heard screaming for a takedown. It must sound like waves crashing against the beach to a person who lives by the beach. Melendez listens well putting his hands up when instructed and throwing jabs when instructed. More over hand rights from Andy. Andy gains another clinch but once again doesn’t go for the take down. “He’s tired go now! Andy lets go!” Screams BJ.

Melendez wins a Unanimous Decision over Andy “Pochen” Wang.

After getting hit Andy’s game plan went out the window. “It felt like someone was trying to steal my lunch money.” – Andy Wang

A recurring theme for this season Andy cries after the loss and Gabe comforts him. BJ says there is no reason to be sad. “Andy doesn’t want to listen to word anyone says.” BJ then makes an imitation of Andy’s crying. Don’t cast stones BJ. BJ started tearing up when I got a picture with him after he won the belt from Hughes. That moment made me one of his biggest fans. I finally knew how much it meant for these guys to win that belt.

“Everyone likes a winner nobody likes a loser.” – BJ Penn

“When people see Andy Wang they will say he is a warrior” – Wang

I hope so Andy I hope So… *tries to do BJ’s Impression of Andy*

Brad Doerges
brad@mma-fighter.com

http://mma-fighter.com/forum/threads/19439-The-Ultimate-Fighter-Season-5-Episode-4-Review

It must have been really dusty in Vegas this season of The Ultimate Fighter because I have never seen so many tears since Forrest Griffin did a his best Tito Ortiz impression after getting knocked out by “The Dean of Mean”. Unlike Rob Emerson I don’t think Cole Miller is a “pussy” for crying. I think it just shows the tremendous amount of pressure each of these fighters is under. 6 weeks with out friends or family. The biggest opportunity in your career… The crying is just an emotional dump. I feel like Griffin recently stated in an interview; If you haven’t cried about something then that means you have never really cared about something and I feel sorry for you.

After the tears dry up Miller is rewarded with his first win by getting a fictious UFC belt. The winner of the fight from either team gets to wear the belt after they win. Manvel hopes everyone from team Pulver gets to wear the belt.

Pulver talks about how big this win is and brings up and interesting point about strategy, knowing who will fight next means only one fighter has to fight next. Not knowing means all fighters must begin to cut weight. This is the smartest thing Pulver has said so far.

The Lobstah shows back up at the house saying he is healthy and that he will continue training and be a replacement fighter if someone is to get hurt.

Gabe Ruediger goes from crybaby to bully by constantly bad mouthing Matt Wiman in his face and behind his back. The confrontations looked staged and Gabe seemingly has no real beef with Matt so this makes it look even phonier.

After another Chicken Fry bracket update BJ tries to throw another monkey wrench in Pulvers plans. BJ talks Emerson into calling out Corey Hill and even has a script for him to follow “Corey you F-ing coward pick me.” Don’t hold your breath for a BJ Penn screen play. Emerson totally botches his lines and starts telling Hill he is “all bark and no bite”. Great improv but Pulver doesn’t bite and he sets up Manvel Gambaryan vs Noah Thomas.

Noah has had 40 fights in the last 2.5 years but Manvel seems unfazed. BJ says he respects Noah for being a True Fighter and not getting involved in all the drama back at the house. I don’t; know if that’s a great idea in the long run. Look what drama did for guys like Chris Leben, Bobby Southworth and Josh Koscheck.

Emerson and Gabe become friends and quickly find mischief in the form of two girls on horse back. They ask the girls to come around front and they very kindly oblige. When team Boredom goes around front they find that one of the horses has slipped and fallen on the concrete. Now even I knew that would happen if the horse has shoes on so I find it hard to believe that the two girls and Willie Nelson wouldn’t. TUF fighters to the rescue! They get some rugs from the house and get the horse back to the safety of asphalt. Emerson stays away from horses because they have knarly Thai Kicks.

BJ finally sits Gabe and Matt down to talk about their feud. Matt calls Gabe “fat: and Gabe responds with “Lets go fight right now…” Joe Lauzon thinks the fighting is causing problems for the team. Gabe and Matt shake hands and it seems to be over for now.

The show shifts to give us a long background on Manvel. We find out that he is UFC veteran Karo Parisyan’s cousin and that they train Judo together. I know Manvel is a very accomplished ground fighter and has freakish strength much like Karo. He is as good or possibly better than Karo is on the ground. With the long in-depth intro it looks like the UFC is saying to us that we will be seeing a lot more of Manny in the future.
Now it looks as if the UFC has shown it’s true colors by having a text message survey for who would win if Gabe and Matt fought. After interviewing Gabe several times it seems as though this on camera persona is made up and possibly used to make an otherwise boring house exciting. Hopefully this leads to big things for Gabe and his new Bad Guy role. 88% think Matt would win the fight. Shows what TUFers know….

Noah and Manvel both weigh in and make weight. Noah steps on the scale with a sandwich in hand. Manvel calls him fat.

Team Boredom plays with a shield they take off one of the walls in the house. Emerson takes a rock in the groin.

While team Pulver is training BJ’s Team is bored so they begin writing on the walls. Noah writes support the troops and Emerson writes “Suck it Team Pulver” When Team Pulver returns they see the comment on the wall and go ape shit. Nate Diaz rips off his shirt and jumps up and down. Pulvers camp break up the initial fight and Team Boredom apologizes.

Then we cut to Manvels reaction. I guess he showed up late because he starts going ballistic about how he will take everyone on Team BJ one by one. Manvel wants to know who wrote it so he could punch him in the face. Emerson admits it and there is no punch. Manny states that he is packing his stuff and leaving. Funny how when Nate and Manvel found out who did it they didn’t want to fight no more. Maybe they have Emerson as a favorite like I do. Maybe they were hoping it was someone smaller like Lobstah.

After what seems like an hour of screaming an uncharacteristically calm Miller gets Manny to settle down and not leave the house.

The morning before the fight Mr Jekyl and Hyde Ruedigar gives Noah a pep talk stating that Manny blew his wad the night before with the 2 hours of screaming.

The fight begins Manny comes out strong landing a right hook that stuns the former Marine. Manny bulrushes his wounded opponent and gets a takedown. From there Manny quickly passes the guard moves to north south and gets a Kimura.

Hopefully Manny got 2 years of aggression out during this fight and both teams respect each other more… Meh this is reality TV who wants that? Bring on the DRAMA team boredom…

Brad Doerges